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Every generation has a “monoculture”, a governing pattern or system of beliefs that people unconsciously accept as “truth.” For example, it’s easy to identify the monoculture of those who clamoured for “Yoruba Nation”, “Republic of Biafra” or any other dominative racist ideology. It’s clear what they accept to be “good” and “true” (even willing to die for) when in reality, they were certainly wrong.
A sad but true fact is that so much of our inner turmoil is the result of conducting a life we don’t inherently desire, only because we have accepted an inner narrative of “normal” and “ideal” without even realizing. There are a number of ways in which our current belief system has us shooting ourselves in the feet as we try to step forward. Here, six of the most pervasive (these will come fast at you, put on your armour):
You believe that creating your best life is a matter of deciding what you want and then going after it, but in reality, you are psychologically incapable of being able to predict what will make you happy. Your brain can only perceive what it has known, so when you choose what you want for the future, you’re actually just recreating a solution or an ideal of the past. When things don’t work out the way you want them to, you think you’ve failed only because you didn’t re-create something you perceived as desirable. In reality, you likely created something better, but foreign, and your brain misinterpreted it as “bad” because of that. Give yourself Grace! Be open to new things.
You trivialize the present moment because you believe that success is somewhere you “arrive,” so you are constantly trying to take a picture of your current life and see if you can be happy yet. Because we’re wired to believe that success is somewhere we get to—when goals are accomplished and things are completed—we’re constantly measuring our present moments by how “finished” they are, how good the story sounds, how someone else would judge our citation. There is nowhere to “arrive” to, if not death. Accomplishing goals is good but it is not exactly success or even growth. How much you expand in the process is. Read that again. Now, any contrary opinion?
You assume that when it comes to following your “instincts,” happiness is “good” and fear and pain are “bad.” When you consider doing something that you truly love and are invested in, you are going to feel an influx of fear and pain, mostly because it will involve being vulnerable. Bad feelings should not always be interpreted as deterrents. They are also indicators that you are doing something frightening and worthwhile. The only things you feel indifferent towards are the things you are not interested in. Simply put, fear (might be) equal to interest.
You think that to change your beliefs, you have to adopt a new line of thinking, rather than seek experiences that make that thinking self-evident. A belief is what you know to be true because experience has made it evident to you. If you want to change your life, change your beliefs. If you want to change your beliefs, go out and have experiences that make them real to you. Not the opposite way around. Understood?
You think “problems” are roadblocks to achieving what you want, when in reality they are pathways. Marcus Aurelius sums this up well: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Simply, running into a “problem” forces you to take action to resolve it. That action will inevitably lead you to think differently, behave differently, and choose differently. The “problem” becomes a catalyst for you to actualize the life you always wanted. It pushes you from your comfort zone, that’s all.
You think your past defines you, and worse, you think that it is an unchangeable reality, when really, your perception of it changes as you do. Because experience is always multi-dimensional, there are a variety of memories, experiences, feelings, “gists” you can choose to recall, and what you choose is indicative of your present state of mind. So many people get caught up in allowing the past to define them or haunt them simply because they have not evolved to the place of seeing how the past did not prevent them from achieving the life they want, it facilitated it. This doesn’t mean to disregard or gloss over painful or traumatic events, but simply to be able to recall them with acceptance and to be able to place them in the storyline of your personal evolution.
Alright. I know this has been a really choky tone, but I want you to believe me that if I knew a better way to present this, I would have used it. I even told you to put on your armour 🤷🙂 Fortunately enough, you've made it here now, very much alive and your windpipe is not even obstructed (or, is it?). Maybe the tone isn't that choky after all. Lol
At the very end, I want you to know that this is not exactly an attempt to create alternatives for the popular beliefs (that will require some psychological theses, debates and all that.) The exact purpose of this article is to show you that despite being popular, these narratives are not necessarily correct and, even worse, such beliefs are limiting and dangerous. So, What You Think You Know Might Not Be So.
You know what you can do for me? Subscribe to the Newsletter. If you have done that already, why not share it across all platforms then? Basically, that's the only thing required of you to keep this plane flying, why not do it? Oh, it turns out there is one more thing you should do, tell me the paragraph(s) that hit you the most (that choked you).
Over the last few days, I have been taking some intentional step towards understanding the commonly overlooked and misunderstood concepts. One of the superb thinkers who has been assisting me in this sojourn is Malcolm Gladwell. For starters, I strongly recommend his book Outliers: The Story of Success and also his podcast Revisionist History. It's my hope that you find these resources useful. Let me know whether you do in the comment section or I might stop adding them here 😎
Till I write you again, stay fine and tell someone to tell someone to tell someone that amazing contents & resources drop here like rainfall. I appreciate all the endless support and look forward to growing this community even bigger.
Another sumptuous one finely prepared, Weldone TDWT . Awesome!!!
On point number 2 on how our current belief system hold us back .SUCCESS.
We all need to understand that success isn't a destination we arrive at all, Nope! but rather a journey, a process we go through. Paying close attention to every step on the journey rather than the outcome help us see what else we get in trying to reach our goals.
All the little and big things we encounter in the course of a journey are the success of that journey, because they refine you, expose you, stretch you and leave a characteristic shinning lustre on you for going through them. And that beauty is the true success.
So, I say, it's the doing, not the outcome.
Feel/enjoy your success dear.
Peace.