“I Don’t Know What Exactly I'm Doing with my Life.”

Do you?

If you ask any young adult what their primary stressor in life is, it’s likely something about uncertainty. If you were to boil it down to a sentence, it would be something along the lines of: “I don’t know what exactly I’m doing with my life.”

How many times have you heard someone say that? How many times have you said that? Probably a lot. The idea that we should know what exactly we're doing with our lives is an unnecessary socially crafted pressure that’s been superimposed on our minds since kindergarten, and it honestly might be holding us back.

Nobody—not even one of us—knows “what exactly we’re doing with our lives.” We can’t summarize the big picture, not yet. We don’t know what exactly we’ll be doing in 5 years, and pretending we can predict that does not actually mean we're ambitious, I think it is best regarded as limiting ourselves to a rigid path and cutting ourselves off from living according to our inner navigation systems.

So, we have to head down the narrow path we've drawn for ourselves and when we fail to keep up with our envisaged speed, we feel like we've lost control, like we don't know what exactly we're doing with our lives. But, is that really the case?

First of all, you owe nothing to your younger self. You are not responsible for being the person you once thought you’d be. But you do owe something to the adult you are today.

Do you know why you don’t have the things you once thought you wanted? Do you know why you’re not the person you once thought you’d be? Because you don’t want those things anymore, at least not badly enough. If you do, you’d have had them.

I think the things you have today and the person you have become are all the results of your choices, consciously, subconsciously or even unconsciously. You're responsible for who you are, and whether you think that's good or bad, I think it's a significant realization.

If you’re wondering “what exactly you should do with your life,” it’s likely that you’re in the deadlock between realizing you don’t want what you once wanted, and giving yourself permission to want what you want now.

Read that again…

Feeling unsure of who you really are is more of an indication for evolvement than it is for retardation. Your past illusions about who you “should” be are dissolving. You feel unsure because it is uncertain! You’re in the process of evolving, and we don’t become uncertain when we change for the worse; we become angry and closed off. In other words: If what you’re experiencing is uncertainty, it’s usually going to lead to something better.

Thinking you know what exactly you’re “doing with your life” quells your hunger. It soothes your mind with the illusion that your path is laid out before you, and that you no longer have to choose, which is another way to say, you’re no longer responsible for becoming the person you want and need to be. Just stick to the plans and you'll reach the holy land. You seriously don't think that's how the world works, do you?

Hunger is important. Complete fulfillment is the fast track to complacency. People don’t thrive when they’re fulfilled. They stagnate.

So, maybe knowing what exactly you’re “going to do with your life” isn't that important. At least, not as important as knowing what you want to do now. This is not about living without plans, but rather about planning while recognizing that YOU make the plans and YOU can always decide to go with another plan.

This isn't about having purpose or not. It is about knowing that choosing your purpose isn't a one-time process where you just draw your path in life and start treading it without any alteration forever. Don't you think that's too narrow for this vast world? In fact, I think it removes all the rewards that come with surmounting impromptu problems.

“What do I want?” is a question you need to ask yourself every day. The things that are imposed on you will wear out eventually and the few things that pop up again and again are the real ones you’ll follow. They’ll become the places you stay, the people you’re drawn to, the choices you make.

What are you doing today? Who do you love? What intrigues you? What would you do today if you could be anyone you wanted? If social media didn’t exist? What do you want to do this weekend?

If you think this article is useful, why not share it and allow others to benefit? Having read till this point, now come and answer my questions. Yes, the questions in the article are not rhetorical🤓 Let me see your opinions in the comment box. And if you like my article, show me some love by clicking the appropriate buttons.

Just like in the passage, it is your choice. I hope you choose love.

Till I write you next time, stay true to yourself. In case you're wondering about me, I will stay true to myself too. Thank you!